And if you thought it couldn't get any worse...
It most certainly did. It seems this weekend was Wanker Weekend on the Allegra Channel. How on Earth did I manage to encounter four wankers in the space of 72 hours?!
#1-Casual Sex guy from the house party turned out to be a notorious serial shagger and heart breaker, on the authority of my friend, who knows several of his other victims. And this was later reinforced by him swaggering up to me in a club on Saturday night and asking me if I was having a good night because he was there. Yep, I can truly say I learnt from that. Once bitten...
#2-House Party Lech
#3-Smooth Talker-approached me outside said club, whilst I drunkenly sat on a bollard, and seemed Mr Charming. Asked me a lot about myself, said I stood out, gave me his number, said he'd like to meet me for a drink sometime...called me an hour later asking if I wanted to come round for a shag. So much for a quiet drink and a chat...
#4-The One Who Wanted To Be My Boyfriend/Professor 'iggins-Beware of the following phrases:
"We really have something here..."
"I came to see you 'cause you're ill and I care about you..."
"You're so down on yourself, why? I really, really like you..."
"We should go to the cinema sometime..."
Apparently these phrases don't neccessarily mean the guy wants to date you or is even interested. Neither does texting me incessantly asking when he can come round. Or sleeping with me and staying the night on four occasions. Apparently what it could in fact mean, or in this case it did, is that he thinks you have poor self-esteem when it comes to men, and him devoting attention to you for a little while, before he spectacularly dumps you in the form of a text:"I like u bt nt in tht way + I dnt wnt a grlfrnd rite nw", will make you feel better about yourself. And improve your self-esteem for the future. The man obviously has an Eliza Doolittle fetish.
Ah my gosh.
"At first I was afraid, I was petrified..."
Cue Gloria Gaynor playing at full volume in the background as I tap away angrily. I think this weekend has been some sort of moral lesson sent from above. To have a lot more respect for myself, and to not be grateful for any wanker paying me some attention. To discover what I really want from a partner and wait till I find it, therefore not just trying to carve relationships from sex with losers I meet in nightclubs. And to respond to this in a style that Chrissie Watts herself would be proud of: to put on my finest attire tonight and have fun.
#1-Casual Sex guy from the house party turned out to be a notorious serial shagger and heart breaker, on the authority of my friend, who knows several of his other victims. And this was later reinforced by him swaggering up to me in a club on Saturday night and asking me if I was having a good night because he was there. Yep, I can truly say I learnt from that. Once bitten...
#2-House Party Lech
#3-Smooth Talker-approached me outside said club, whilst I drunkenly sat on a bollard, and seemed Mr Charming. Asked me a lot about myself, said I stood out, gave me his number, said he'd like to meet me for a drink sometime...called me an hour later asking if I wanted to come round for a shag. So much for a quiet drink and a chat...
#4-The One Who Wanted To Be My Boyfriend/Professor 'iggins-Beware of the following phrases:
"We really have something here..."
"I came to see you 'cause you're ill and I care about you..."
"You're so down on yourself, why? I really, really like you..."
"We should go to the cinema sometime..."
Apparently these phrases don't neccessarily mean the guy wants to date you or is even interested. Neither does texting me incessantly asking when he can come round. Or sleeping with me and staying the night on four occasions. Apparently what it could in fact mean, or in this case it did, is that he thinks you have poor self-esteem when it comes to men, and him devoting attention to you for a little while, before he spectacularly dumps you in the form of a text:"I like u bt nt in tht way + I dnt wnt a grlfrnd rite nw", will make you feel better about yourself. And improve your self-esteem for the future. The man obviously has an Eliza Doolittle fetish.
Ah my gosh.
"At first I was afraid, I was petrified..."
Cue Gloria Gaynor playing at full volume in the background as I tap away angrily. I think this weekend has been some sort of moral lesson sent from above. To have a lot more respect for myself, and to not be grateful for any wanker paying me some attention. To discover what I really want from a partner and wait till I find it, therefore not just trying to carve relationships from sex with losers I meet in nightclubs. And to respond to this in a style that Chrissie Watts herself would be proud of: to put on my finest attire tonight and have fun.
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