Argh. Spent all night trying to create a MySpace and it just ain't happening! I don't know whether it's because I use the notorious AOL, if the site's down, or what, my HTML isn't coming out. I give up, which I think is a good idea considering I was choked with tears!
God only knows why I want the thing. It's only cos I feel I should follow the trend, everybody I know having one. I have no real passion for it to be honest, I mean how many web-profiling things does one need?!
***
Decided to start moving on where university is concerned. Angry at spending so much time ruminating about the past and all that's gone wrong. If I look stupid and sad to other people so what?! I tried, it didn't work out, it wasn't my sort of place, that's all, nobody's died/become ill as a result. I figured the ruminative course of action was just making me feel ill. As sad as it is to totally detatch yourself from people, and finally give up (and I mean fully give up, not just give up but tell everyone else/yourself you are still trying), I think it's the best for my health. I suppose this is easy to say sitting here, at home, where everything is a million miles away. But in order to keep myself sane I feel I must toughen up, accept certain things, and focus on the future. If things go well from now on, it will be an added bonus, but I'm not going to hope for too much.
I'm not being defeatist, I'm not simply doing what is easy, I am just going to do what makes me feel a hell of a lot better and get rid of this constant feeling of hurt and being on the edge of insanity.
***
I also think it is about time I started growing up properly and not just in the "wild experiences that make you a wordly adult" sense. Doing things like actually keeping an eye on my finances (nearly £1000 overdrawn as a result of whim-buying in TopShop, I feel disgusted with myself. That's the maximum overdraft. And that's all been spent in the space of three months. How the hell am I going to pay it off?), trying to work out some sense of income, tidying up after myself, helping out others, actually thinking about others, going to sleep when I feel tired, getting up at a reasonable hour. And getting some general sense into my life. This is a result of the following "Stupidest Things I Have Ever Done":
#1 - Not going to my PoundLand interview - Why? I didn't get up in time. Thought I would have a lie-in. Again.
#2 - Not packing properly for the holidays - there I was sitting in my PJs rushing through my essay at 2pm. No wonder my mum went hysterical! not a thing had been organised, hell my bed wasn't even made. As a result we threw stuff in a case as quickly as possible, forgetting the following vital things: phone charger, script I need to work on over the holidays, trousers for work.
#3 - Not getting my parcel redelivered - three weeks pass and it's probably been destroyed.
#4 - being a complete oddball and not checking my hotmail. Therefore missing out on potentially meeting up with someone.
Crap.
God only knows why I want the thing. It's only cos I feel I should follow the trend, everybody I know having one. I have no real passion for it to be honest, I mean how many web-profiling things does one need?!
Decided to start moving on where university is concerned. Angry at spending so much time ruminating about the past and all that's gone wrong. If I look stupid and sad to other people so what?! I tried, it didn't work out, it wasn't my sort of place, that's all, nobody's died/become ill as a result. I figured the ruminative course of action was just making me feel ill. As sad as it is to totally detatch yourself from people, and finally give up (and I mean fully give up, not just give up but tell everyone else/yourself you are still trying), I think it's the best for my health. I suppose this is easy to say sitting here, at home, where everything is a million miles away. But in order to keep myself sane I feel I must toughen up, accept certain things, and focus on the future. If things go well from now on, it will be an added bonus, but I'm not going to hope for too much.
I'm not being defeatist, I'm not simply doing what is easy, I am just going to do what makes me feel a hell of a lot better and get rid of this constant feeling of hurt and being on the edge of insanity.
***
I also think it is about time I started growing up properly and not just in the "wild experiences that make you a wordly adult" sense. Doing things like actually keeping an eye on my finances (nearly £1000 overdrawn as a result of whim-buying in TopShop, I feel disgusted with myself. That's the maximum overdraft. And that's all been spent in the space of three months. How the hell am I going to pay it off?), trying to work out some sense of income, tidying up after myself, helping out others, actually thinking about others, going to sleep when I feel tired, getting up at a reasonable hour. And getting some general sense into my life. This is a result of the following "Stupidest Things I Have Ever Done":
#1 - Not going to my PoundLand interview - Why? I didn't get up in time. Thought I would have a lie-in. Again.
#2 - Not packing properly for the holidays - there I was sitting in my PJs rushing through my essay at 2pm. No wonder my mum went hysterical! not a thing had been organised, hell my bed wasn't even made. As a result we threw stuff in a case as quickly as possible, forgetting the following vital things: phone charger, script I need to work on over the holidays, trousers for work.
#3 - Not getting my parcel redelivered - three weeks pass and it's probably been destroyed.
#4 - being a complete oddball and not checking my hotmail. Therefore missing out on potentially meeting up with someone.
Crap.
<< Home