One year over...
Despite my constant complaints of loneliness and claustrophobia regarding living in halls, I feel unbelievably sad that the experience is over. It's the feeling of regret at not making much more of the situation, and also the feeling of sadness that one of my life experiences is over.
It has slowly hit me over the last three days. When it was formally acknowledged in the shape of the final party in the hall bar I didn't feel a thing, but my own little reflections whilst packing and pottering about the place really drove into me the whole definate sense it was all over for good. The last few moments of having a million different shared playlists on my iTunes. Wandering down the drive to the vending machine, or to the laundry room, and hell, my last trip to the toilet. That's really what did it, my last shit in halls! And on the mundane drive home, with the endless passing of trees, signs, crash barriers, other cars, and the infinite strip of concrete slipping away under us, taking me further away, I reflected on my empty room. I remember opening the door on that place for the first time and crying 'cause it was so awful, but now feeling so sad I'd left it. It's weird how it looked exactly the same at two opposite points of my link to it.
Making more of a situation, what do I mean by that? Well, I mean that whilst I DID do a lot of things I never would have done a year previously, there were still a lot of things I feel I SHOULD have done there. Like being a little happier, a little more outgoing and perhaps getting to know people other than the ones who lived on my floor. And leaving my room once in a while to discover what was beyond sleep and the internet. Funny how I've been on the internet all year and now I'm at home with fuck all to do I can't be arsed to go online. I also wish that during that time online I wish I'd become a Samuel Pepys on a student loan and documented a little more of the place's wacky goings-on. Who knows, with a LOT of empty evenings to kill I may just dig deep in my memory and jot a few down for nostalgic sake. Yeh...that's an ideeee-a...
Oh yes, and taking more pictures. I didn't fulfil my aim to fill at least one album with memories of year one, and to go round the condemned-to-demolition halls that have served as my home for the last year and take a few photos of the place before it's a pile of dust and rubble. So now I'm frantically emailing friends for copies of ANY photos from year one.
Sadness comes from knowing that never again will all my pals be just down the corridor, that when one person is pissing you off you can simply go to someone else's room. Getting ready and going out all together. Whilst I'll be in a house with four pals, with the rest down the street or a short walk away it's not the same. Halls seem to have that constantly buzzing atmosphere, you can be pacing your tiny dorm with insomnia at 3.22am and still hear voices somewhere, not like in a silent house. The sights and sounds of halls, the constant thud of music and constant chatter, I will miss that too. Despite the whinging about the less-than-luxurious amenities there are some great memories from that place; late night gatherings in someone's room, spontaneous hall-parties or pizza fests, always having at least one person who wants to get glammed up and pop down the student union club night on a boring Saturday evening.
So I'm gonna sound like an old woman at this point, but for anyone who's going to uni this September and is gonna be living in halls, please, please make the absolute most of it. It really does go so fast. Talk to everyone, do everything, and most importantly, take lots of pictures.
xxx
It has slowly hit me over the last three days. When it was formally acknowledged in the shape of the final party in the hall bar I didn't feel a thing, but my own little reflections whilst packing and pottering about the place really drove into me the whole definate sense it was all over for good. The last few moments of having a million different shared playlists on my iTunes. Wandering down the drive to the vending machine, or to the laundry room, and hell, my last trip to the toilet. That's really what did it, my last shit in halls! And on the mundane drive home, with the endless passing of trees, signs, crash barriers, other cars, and the infinite strip of concrete slipping away under us, taking me further away, I reflected on my empty room. I remember opening the door on that place for the first time and crying 'cause it was so awful, but now feeling so sad I'd left it. It's weird how it looked exactly the same at two opposite points of my link to it.
Making more of a situation, what do I mean by that? Well, I mean that whilst I DID do a lot of things I never would have done a year previously, there were still a lot of things I feel I SHOULD have done there. Like being a little happier, a little more outgoing and perhaps getting to know people other than the ones who lived on my floor. And leaving my room once in a while to discover what was beyond sleep and the internet. Funny how I've been on the internet all year and now I'm at home with fuck all to do I can't be arsed to go online. I also wish that during that time online I wish I'd become a Samuel Pepys on a student loan and documented a little more of the place's wacky goings-on. Who knows, with a LOT of empty evenings to kill I may just dig deep in my memory and jot a few down for nostalgic sake. Yeh...that's an ideeee-a...
Oh yes, and taking more pictures. I didn't fulfil my aim to fill at least one album with memories of year one, and to go round the condemned-to-demolition halls that have served as my home for the last year and take a few photos of the place before it's a pile of dust and rubble. So now I'm frantically emailing friends for copies of ANY photos from year one.
Sadness comes from knowing that never again will all my pals be just down the corridor, that when one person is pissing you off you can simply go to someone else's room. Getting ready and going out all together. Whilst I'll be in a house with four pals, with the rest down the street or a short walk away it's not the same. Halls seem to have that constantly buzzing atmosphere, you can be pacing your tiny dorm with insomnia at 3.22am and still hear voices somewhere, not like in a silent house. The sights and sounds of halls, the constant thud of music and constant chatter, I will miss that too. Despite the whinging about the less-than-luxurious amenities there are some great memories from that place; late night gatherings in someone's room, spontaneous hall-parties or pizza fests, always having at least one person who wants to get glammed up and pop down the student union club night on a boring Saturday evening.
So I'm gonna sound like an old woman at this point, but for anyone who's going to uni this September and is gonna be living in halls, please, please make the absolute most of it. It really does go so fast. Talk to everyone, do everything, and most importantly, take lots of pictures.
xxx
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